Kinder-Hobbit

Sunday, April Fools' Day, is my birthday.

I comfort myself with the fact that I still won't be an adult hobbit. That's still a year away when I reach the magical and glorious age of 33.

When I am 33 I will have a big party, drink a little too much, blink when Uncle Bilbo disappears, and crawl back to my hobbit hole to sleep it off. I will also double lock the doors and windows and close the chimney flue to keep Gandolf out. I know a thing or two about the kind of quests he sends people on and let me tell you something, Mr. Wizard, go peddle that stuff somewhere else cause I ain't buying. I have no desire to save middle earth by confronting evil where it lives. Being a hobbit is all about breakfast, brunch, and elevenses.

Also, the beer and table dancing.

Now some of you might be thinking: but Polly, you're not, not, not a hobbit. Well, you just keep telling yourselves that if it makes you feel better. That's what I would do.

I like the idea of being 32 but I haven't actually had a feeling-my-new-age moment in over a decade. You know the feeling, like when a week after you turned thirteen, it finally clicked that you were a for-real teenager, or when you turned twenty-one and the bouncer said "happy birthday" and let you in the club.

The last time I had that damn-I'm-getting-grown feeling, I turned 22, which was significant in the fact that it was actually over 21. Implying experience.

I wonder if my mom got the joke when I was born on April 1st, no doubt looking every bit as Polish as I am. And, do those two things cancel themselves out or should I just go outside and play in traffic now?

The thing is that I like being born on April 1st, otherwise known as the real new year's day, because no one forgets my birthday. Even my younger brother remembers to call and tell me how old I'm getting. He was born on Friday the 13th. I tell myself that there's no deep meaning in those dates, but heck, if I were my mom, I'd be wondering.

Especially after that time we crawled through the window of a vacant apartment in our building and used the work crews' paint and rollers to do a little touch up of our own. We painted the floor, walls, and cupboards as high as our pudgy little arms could reach.

Joke or nightmare, Mom? You call it.

In any case, happy birthday to me. I plan to enjoy thirty-two while it lasts.

Comments

[Erica]

Hey, happy birthday! I bought you a card but haven't mailed it yet, so it will be late. So typical of me. I was just telling Brandon Easter is in two weeks, uh no it's a week from Sunday. Somehow I lost the last two weeks of March. Hugs and kisses.

[MagicAdventure]

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday my Dear Poppins, Happy Birthday to you!

Now blow out your candles!

[Polly Poppins]

Thank you for the birthday song! I love it.
Now where's my cake, MagicAdventure? Where's my cake?
Love,
Polly Poppins

[magicadventure]

I read your cupcake blog and thought you might not want one! If you would really like one I can see what Adventure Land can do for you! Close your eyes real tight, no peeking, now picture a larger than life Choc. Cake with flames that look like fireworks in the sky, yes this is a triple Choc. cake, now make a wish and watch your firework candles take your wish to the stars. Magic happens Poppins it really does, so make that wish a good one!
Happy Birthday!

[anonymous]

hi dear polly poppins,
happy, happy, birthday! so, i'm glad if i had to miss your birthday, that i didn't miss the table dancing and beer.
maybe i will be lucky enough to NOT miss your 33rd...where there will be table dancing aplenty! Who does the table dancing anyway? you, your guests, or someone who is paid? if it is your guests, i want to make sure i am practiced and ready!

[Polly Poppins]

Anyone who has even a drop of hobbit blood in them will be on a table kicking up their legs and occasionally reciting a ballad. I will do both because I am so good at both.

[Bookgirl]

My nephews all went through stages where they could eat multiple breakfasts. They'd eat once at home, come sniffing around our house for a second. It would have been cool if they were hobbits. But no, it was just the mystical powers of bacon.