I'm a Terrible Bowler

I don't know why but I thought I would be pretty good at Dance Dance Revolution. I knew I would suck at Guitar Hero, but seriously, DDR was supposed to be my game. I imagined dancing circles around Mr. Poppins. Right, back, left, front: circles.

Sigh.

Do you know how bad a bowler I am? I would like to say I am so bad that I once lobbed my bowl into someone else's lane. I would like to say that but it is a lie. It was more than once, it was more than twice. Yes, folks, it was three times. And then there was the time I dropped the ball and it rolled backward.

I am a terrible bowler.

And yet, I am better at bowling than I am at Wii DDR or GH. Much better.

Not that I've been doing much practicing to improve the situation. Nope. I've been getting ready for my party. That and driving around to look at Christmas lights. Ahhh.

But finally, finally, I am at a resting place. Or close enough to one to put a little note up here. I can almost think straight, and this is the first time this week. Seriously.

Let's look at this week's foibles and follies, why don't we, starting with today:

Today I nearly drove into the wrong end of a one-way mail-drop driveway at the post office. Now I post letters there at least twice a week and I wasn't even on the phone. Nope. Just plain bone-headed.

Yesterday I wore boots and went to bed with the sneaking suspicion that they were different colors. Those of you who know me personally know how fond I am of buying multiples of the same item of clothing in different colors. So I bought one pair of black boots and one pair of brown, only when the brown ones were delivered (by mail) they were more of an espresso than the chocolate I had hoped. So when I woke in the morning and confirmed that I did indeed have two mismatched pairs lined up side by side in the closet, I took heart in the fact that if Mr. Poppins didn't notice, no one else likely did either.

Monday I hooked a finger into my va-jay-jay to remove my Instead cup (a feminine hygeine product that looks a bit like a disposable diaphram) and pulled out a bonus cup. Yup. You heard it here first, people, I was doubled-up and for no good reason, too. Both cups were empty.

Sunday I decided that my all-time favorite housekeeper--we'll call her Maria because that's her name--was really and truly dead and cried on and off throughout the day. It turns out Maria is alive, and yes, she can still work my Christmas party.

You may wonder how I came to this seemingly baseless conclusion. You may also wonder why Maria is my former housekeeper.

Well, long story short Maria got a fulltime job offer, which I am sadly not in a position to counter.

The dead part is more complicated: Mr. Poppins saw an article in the paper about a woman who died in the neighborhood my Maria lives in, who had the same first and last name, the same general age, the same occupation, and the same marital status, and a surviving son. As Mr. Poppins discovered more and more details I held onto a slim hope but agreed that Mr. Poppins should indeed bookmark the local obituaries so we could attend the funeral. But she is not dead. But her cell phone was, which is why it took her three days to return my frantic phone call.

And that's the week I'm having. Does anybody want to go bowling?

Comments

[Equipoise]

I want to give you a hug...

[Diosa]

I am probably one of the few programmers on earth that doesn't like to play video games, though I think when I finally break down and get my kids a system, it will be a Wii.

Glad Maria's not dead. At least you didn't leave a piece of fruit rotting in a bag you'd forgotten about, infesting your house with fruit flies.

[Liz]

Sheesh, thats a scary story about Maria. I bet you felt relieved. I know your going to post pictures of this fabulous party so that we can all feel like we were there.

PS - I love it that you and Mr Poppins get video game systems for yourselves to play, I'm in that boat, too, except that getting a Wii requires standing in line at ungodly hours of the morning so I'm going to have to wait until later to get one. When we do though, Mr Liz and I will be just like the two of you. DDR'ing our tookuses off.

[Bookgirl]

I've tried only bowling and golf. Someone who lives within driving distance of me needs to buy Dance, Dance Revolution. Get on it, people.

[Bookgirl]

That's it. I'm done checking. I no longer can stand the disappointment of opening your blog, hoping, hoping while it loads. And then seeing that not only is there not a new post, the last comment is mine and there's not even a pointless, time-wasting conversation I can join. Polly has let me down. You all have let me down.

[Polly Poppins]

Bookgirl. Darling. May I say that I empathize with your frustration. I remember long ago I had a friend with a blog who rarely posted and would get snitty, snitty, snitty if I mentioned my disappointment. Oh, the glory of turn-about. It's fair play, you know.

[Diosa]

Bookgirl, you really need to read my blogs the last couple of days. I'll have you rolling. I swear.

[Bookgirl]

Thanks, Di. I needed that snort laugh. ( :

And Pol, while there have been many snits over the years, only one was over your commenting on my lack of blog.