Well, you heard it here first, people: my breasts are officially reduced. There will not be pictures. For one thing, I haven't seen them yet. The girls are still neatly tucked away beneath a yard of gauze and a few inches of batting.
Wait.
Days and days have past since I began this post and then promptly forgot about it. Now the batting, gauze, and "drains" (think gruesome Christmas ornaments dangling from long catheter tubes and slowly filling with, ahem, serum)...what was I saying? Oh, yeah: I'm surgery-accessory free as of 6pm yesterday!
Let's pause for a moment to sing "Celebrate!" as though we're in the chorus of Madonna's old hit "Holiday".
Want to know how lucky Friday the 13th is for me? Well, I'm going to tell you:
I SHOWERED!!!!!! It was allowed.
Now, I've still got bruising and a little bit of swelling but my girls are the prettiest girls in three counties, I'm sure of it. Even with what Diosa described (for her own surgery) as Bride of Frankenstein stitches and bruising.
I'm too tired to keep going so I'm just going to be all annoyingly stream of consciousness with this post and just put it out there and add to it over the weekend as I have the energy. It's been too long since I posted and I'm back, people.
I am so back. But, seriously, I'm front, too, and right now that's my favorite part. Bruises and stitches and all.
More...
We just brought my mom back to the airport. She took care of me and drove me around while Mr. Poppins worked. I like to joke that her driving seems like it just kinda happens by accident while she's looking at other things. Only it's less of a joke and more of a reality. I miss her already.
I just went out and bought my first round of new bras. There are no hooks or wires or heavy-duty materials, only the very minimal of what is required to be a bra. Actually, it was labeled as a bralet. I never in my wildest dream thought that putting on a bra would in no way change my silhouette and yet, that's exactly how it is.
I can not only pass the pencil test, I could pass any test you want to invent. I do not need a bra, only for some reason, post-operatively it is required. I also do not have the smile of the anchor scar, just the little ol' lollipop. As of right now, the lollipop is covered with surgical tape and the tape is pretty scabby and gross but it comes off next week and quite frankly, it doesn't bother me. All of the rest of the tape that was holding on my surgical pads was driving me crazy, but this other stuff, not so much.
I've got to say, although I never doubted it for a minute, Diosa was absolutely right about the surgery being worth it. Bookgirl, well, she was right too about embracing the full C. If I hadn't had the lift with the reduction, the full C would have been running over my cup, but the lift makes it so I am firm as a fifteen-year-old gymnast.
I'm actually thinking that my doctor (Dr. Pousti) was showing off a little with my reduction. I'm not sure if this is really his best work or I'm as delusional as a new mother looking down at her firstborn, but I think I have the prettiest breast reduction possible in the universe. Yes, I said it: the prettiest in the universe.
Glad your back and that all went well. :)
Posted by: Nat | June 14, 2008 at 10:55 AM
Congrats! i'm glad to hear you're doing well and so excited about the new you! (or front of you)
Posted by: White Rabbit | June 14, 2008 at 02:51 PM
Woo hoo! I can't wait to see the new girls!! And yes, I really will make you lift up your shirt and flash 'em next time I see you.
And WR, You now know way more about your sister's breasts than you ever wanted to...
Posted by: Bookgirl | June 15, 2008 at 05:25 AM
Thanks, Nat!
Sorry for the tmi, WB!
And Bookgirl, forget flashing. You can go over them with a magnifying glass if you want. Ogle to your hearts content. That's ECBF privilege.
Posted by: Polly Poppins | June 15, 2008 at 07:56 AM
Yay! See, you did not die. I'm so happy to hear that you are happy with the results. I hope the healing continues to go well.
Posted by: Equipoise | June 15, 2008 at 08:47 PM
So happy for you Polly. I feel your bliss. I'm sure the new girls are perfect in every way.
Posted by: Diosa | June 16, 2008 at 07:09 AM
Diosa! You are my rockstar hero. Thank you, thank you, thank you for paving the way.
Posted by: Polly Poppins | June 16, 2008 at 08:04 AM
I was worried that you might not let anymore, but now I am fairly sure that you'll let even more than you did previously.
Posted by: The Dol | June 16, 2008 at 10:20 AM
And, OT, but in referent to Not-A-Post, I second your WTF. A password??? C'mon Liz, what gives, sista?
Posted by: The Dol | June 16, 2008 at 10:22 AM
Yay Polly. I'm feeling jealous. I want new girls. Congrats. And phooey for no photos. Sheesh, Polly its just the internet.
And for the WTF - I'm remodeling - and becoming anonymous. As it turns out, it's not as much fun to have ah-ah-scary-people (and co-workers and what-have-you) type my name into google and read about me masturbating and talking to my vah-j-j when I get bored.
The problem I'm having right now is that I like "thelfactor" so I am having a hard time deciding if I keep that and remodel or delete the whole thing and start over. You girls have any ideas? I need a screen name, etc.
Posted by: Liz | June 16, 2008 at 12:44 PM
Wait, but I'm behind and missed a whole bunch of entries!! How do I catch up if it's blocked?? Can you just email me the last couple of months worth??
Posted by: Bookgirl | June 16, 2008 at 01:29 PM
Liz,
If it's anonymity you seek, I think you're going to have to start fresh. What a bummer, though. You have a lot of great posts over there that you'd have to sever ties with if you move elsewhere under a pseudonym. Damn the internets! And the google, too!
Posted by: The Dol | June 16, 2008 at 02:30 PM
Dol. I'm not sure you'll be getting your turn. Seems I'm so busy letting myself, that there may not be room for me to let other people. Mr. Poppins says I'm currently getting more boob action than a high school quarterback.
Liz, do I get to name you? I'd tell you what I have in mind but if your stalkers have followed you here, then they'll know our secrets. Remember, there's always a way.
Posted by: Polly Poppins | June 16, 2008 at 04:13 PM
Polly - GP Good point! E mail me. Yes, I'd like help with the name. Also - does anyone know how to archive the old posts without deleting them?
I can't lie, I heart my own blog and am very sad to see it go, but I think I don't have a choice.
Posted by: Liz | June 17, 2008 at 06:39 AM
Yay Polly. I am so excited for you! Especially since I am sitting in a chair (with my back VERY straight) and my boobs still draped over my ever-increasing tummy.
Liz, I became anonymous awhile ago, and I couldn't figure out how to archive without deleting, so I cut and pasted every page to a Word Document. If you are offered a better suggestion (I hope you are), this worked okay, although it was a pain in the ass.
Posted by: I can't even remember my name anymore | June 17, 2008 at 10:10 PM
Liz, You could just convert the posts back to draft status.
Posted by: Diosa | June 18, 2008 at 06:11 AM
Of course, unless you change the name, your name, the address of the blog and your design/layout, everyone will know it's still you.
Posted by: Diosa | June 18, 2008 at 06:12 AM
If you have blog name and alias suggestions for the woman formerly known as Liz Factor, please email them to her so the stalkers don't find out. I knew those photos of the perfect gams frolicking in puddles would come back to haunt her. Being cellulite-free has its price, seniora.
Posted by: Polly Poppins | June 18, 2008 at 08:29 AM