From the Pyramid to the Arches

Mr. Poppins sent me this little funny. If you haven't already read it, take a moment. Seriously. I'll wait.

It seems that someone out there thinks that kids have food that they won't, might, and will eat. I have to say, this matches my personal experience as a parent. 

In my defense, I do load Lulu up on mandarin oranges, berries, apples, broccoli, and the occasional bite of melon. She washes it all down with water or chocolate milk. I make the chocolate milk myself by pairing organic, omega-3 fortified milk with Hershey's chocolate sauce, a pairing which defies logic unless you, like me, can understand how a chocolate bar and a diet soda cancel each other out.

Then it makes perfect sense.

Secret Lulu doesn't complain so the very idea that she would, after two hours of complaining, eat the chicken and potato is not something I have ever considered. Neither have I ever waited more than, oh say, two minutes before offering Secret Lulu an alternative entree should she turn her nose up at what I place before her. It is not unusual to see a couple of plates and a few bowls vying for space on Secret Lulu's placemat because maybe she'd rather have something else.

It is also not unusual for me to offer her a row of Smarties so she'll stay sitting at the table while Mr. Poppins and I finish our dinner and she ignores hers. I feel pretty good about this strategy as all the data suggests that the common denominator among National Merit Scholars is that they have families who sit together for meals, but I've never seen what they actually eat referenced so I don't think that part is necessarily important.

As for pizza, well, half the time Secret Lulu won't even eat it. She's got rather particular taste and if the crust, sauce, cheese ratio is in any way off, it's over before it even begins. She seems to prefer a medium crust, extra cheese, and sauce that is more sweet than acidic. Please, no frozen crap that gets heated in the oven. Delivery only. She looks forward to flirting with the delivery boy.

He's not my type, but he's not bad looking either.

And then there's McDonald's. Let me explain how I've convinced myself that this isn't the most unhealthy thing in the world. First of all we order the chicken nuggets. They're all-white meat and we don't get any sauce so it's not like she's getting loaded up with sugar. They are, however, a legitimate source of protein. I kind of have to just ignore the fact that the nuggets are deep fried.

I've got nothing to say about that.

We never get french fries. Well, we used to but Lulu prefers a more homestyle cut to her fries so I always ate them and, as I may have mentioned in a previous post, I had to buy new pants. I found that less than thrilling; however, Secret Lulu will eat the apple dippers, without the caramel dip, and even though the fact that these apples never brown in the air leads me to believe that there is something suspicious going on, well, I roll with it. I mean it's apples, what could be healthier or, if I may be so bold to add, more American than apples from freaking McDonald's.

I am about to burst into Stars & Stripes Forever just thinking about it.

Lastly, as I mentioned before, Lulu likes to wash stuff down with chocolate milk. You didn't think I was giving her soda, did you? Well, I'm not saying I give her soda, but I'm not not saying it either. Seriously. If I have something and Secret Lulu wants it, she can pretty much have it. Mostly I drink water with my meals but that's only mostly.

I'm not proud of it, people.

Anyway, that's it. Secret Lulu wins. I'll do whatever she wants. She's probably downstairs plotting her first raid on my booze as I type. Although, quite frankly, if she were to say please and maybe cry there's a good chance she could get me to give it to her outright.

She owns me.

 

Comments

[Equipoise]

I'm so not looking forward to this part of parenthood.

[mean mom]

poor sep. she has to sit at the table AND she eats what we eat or she doesn't eat. mostly, she doesn't eat. i'm lazy. that's all. i don't want to have to make anything else, and i don't want to have to get anything else for her (even pb and j) after i am filling my own face. sorry poor girl. you'd have it better at lulu's.

[Polly Poppins]

Equipoise, you've got some time.

e?fp (mean mom), sounds like your booze is safe.

[j]

I'm with you, mean mom. I have 3 kids (2 age 6, 1 age 4) and no time to short order. Its eat or be eaten around here ;)

My eldest eats virtually anything while my other two are a tad more picky, but hardly anything worth noting.

That isn't to say we don't have more than our share of fast food on the run too though.

By the time my twins were a year they could spot those golden arches 3 miles away.

[Diosa]

Our nanny took LT to McDonald's for his 3rd bday. She had asked and while I'm not crazy about fast food, I'm not a Nazi about it either. She told me later that he looked confused while he was there, like he'd never been there before. I told her he probably hadn't. He's Mickey D's freak now. That and Dunkin, both of them. They don't get to go nearly as much as they'd like. But they still eat way more chicken nuggets than is healthy.

[Alice]

I'm a fan of Lulu, I can't lie. Mostly because you give her choices and she doesn't even demand them, now that is good, good work on her part.