Can You Stand It?

I seriously can't stand it. Not even a little bit, people.

Alice sent me a text asking for the words to "There's a Party in My Belly" because, apparently, I know them and taught them to The Poo. Well, it's Yo Gabba Gabba, I remember that much, but other than some dancing broccoli, the rest, quite frankly escapes me. I could be sadder about that than I am.

But.

But woohoo I'm flying JetBlue tonight. Yeah, I'm leaving on a a jetplane and I know perfectly well when I'll be back again but until that time, people, I am all about O'Neill's in Woonsocket with Diosa and Bookgirl. If you want to see what I look like in person, because you're say one of the ten people who don't know me personally who read this blog, well, that's where I'll be tomorrow night, which is to say Friday night.

I'll be the one with the ear-to-ear grin sitting between Diosa and Bookgirl. Oh yeah, and sitting between Diosa and Bookgirl.

My mother in an act of unprecedented punctuality was actually a day early to pick me up at the airport this morning. She wants everyone to know that she was on time. So far as anyone can remember, including her, this has never happened before in the history of the world. Lightning will probably not strike twice and she is probably going to have a plaque made to commemorate the occasion. She took my brother out to breakfast to celebrate

Swear to Hank.

I am oh-so-going to miss Mr. Poppins and Secret Lulu, even though Secret Lulu gave me the what-for this morning when I fed her fish. And I quote:

Mommy! It's my responsibility.

Mr. Poppins says my accent is already coming back. And just yesterday Lulu described a span of time as "a couple-two weeks," which she can only have got from me.

Some of you may remember then last flight debacle. You know, the one where I was seated by the woman who was, apparently, keistering dead puppies. Well, I remember and the Vicks is ready and waiting. If it's good enough for med-school students (Model?) it's good enough for me. In any case, I'm even more tired of being polite this year than I was last year--Mr. Poppins wonders how one can tire of something one never does, but it is possible, people. 

I am living proof.

Anyway, let the free world be warned, if profiling were allowed I'd be pegged as the woman most likely to slay you with a lethal dirty look and a harsh tsk-tsk. And maybe even ask the flight attendant if my neighbor can be removed from the plane, mid-flight, as obviously they are spreading contagion and pestilence.

Not to be confused with the complaints and petulance, I myself prefer to spread.

I am not sniffing other's noxious toots anymore. There are limits.

Let me tell you, speaking of limits. The Dol sent me this link to an article about why Facebook is for old fogies. Among the reasons listed was that we old fogies (thirty-somthings) are too cool to care who we hated in high school and will therefore happily friend anyone.

 Not true, people.

While I freely admit to having accepted friend invitations from at least two former mortal enemies, I can think of at least five people, off the top of my head, that I would never, under any circumstances, friend. They are not former mortal enemies but people I never even realized I loathed until I left high school.

Shame on me.

But we can't all grow into mature adults. Some of us have to hover in adolescence indefinitely. It's just a rule. One that I made up right now, on the spot, because that's what I do. But seriously, I'm not friending them. I'm just not.

And then there's this one person whose friendship invitation I accepted but it bothered me so I unfriended her but then I realized she was actually real-life friends with this other friend of mine so I felt guilty and refriended her on the pretense of realizing I had somehow "lost" her, and then I saw how lame the stuff on her wall was and there's no way I can stay friends with her now.

Who becomes a fan of oral sex on facebook? That's just wrong, people. Especially when it's done without irony. So in case you were wondering if that full-of-herself, judgmental girl eventually became a loving and accepting person, the answer is not yet. Maybe never.

Don't hold your breath.

 

Comments

[Alice]

I really just want the first line of that song. There's a party in my tummy and.... something. I cant remember. But I will give it two more day before I look it up, just to play the memory game with myself.

Can you be a fan of oral sex on facebook? For serious?

[The Model]

There's a party in my tummy, so yummy!

[i can't remember anymore]

I just don't friend anyone that I've never been real-life friends with. Even if I don't hate them. I just don't care about their lives is all. I don't want them clogging my home page.