Freakin' Herpes

I have this gynormous coldsore in the middle of my face--under my nose and above my upper lip, to the left (my left) of my divot.

To be precise. 

I can cover it with makeup but, seriously, what the heck? I hate it when my sordid past catches up with me. 

Ah, herpes.

The gift that keeps on giving.

Now it's not like cold sores are the really humiliating, carry-pamphlets-around-in-your-purse, below-the-waist kind of herpes that has to be disclosed. That's another kind entirely--a kind I am, thankfully, not afflicted with. But The Dol and I knew this girl once--can't remember her name but we called her Whips and Chains and she was kind of like a tough, leather-and-chain wearing biker girl--anyway, she carried the pamphlets in her purse. And had cause to hand them out to new and interested, ahem, tourists, practically every day it seemed.

But I digress.

The point is, it's not that kind of herpes, it's the other humiliating kind that attacks your face, in the middle, and looks like you have been infected by plague or might turn into a zombie and are definitely unclean and, "please, don't come anywhere near my baby with that thing."

Just don't.

So I have the face kind, not the not-face kind, and every so often, when stress hits, it arises to announce to the world that, "hey, Polly is anxious about something." Or maybe just not getting enough sleep. Whatever. But I'll tell you, the announcement, while perhaps unclear with the details is delivered with an enthusiasm that can't be overlooked. Kind of like those air-horn things at hockey games.

And the worse part, is that it hurts. It feels like a burn or like embarrassment incarnate.

And now there are probably some of you who didn't know coldsores are a form of herpes. Consider yourselves informed. And there are probably some of you feeling all smug because you've had neither the face nor the not-face kind of herpes. You think you're all superior. Well, let me just tell you that you've had herpes, I'm almost sure of it. Because chicken pox, well, that's herpes, too, people. And if you think you can't have another flare up, well, you're wrong because you can get this extra horrible thing called shingles and it's herpes. And it can make babies go blind.

There. Not so smug now, are you?

Anyway, I can't be alone in my plight because when I went to my local place of worship (aka, Target) they were all out of anointing oil (aka, Abreva--which totally does what it says) and I could not leave an offering and take my indulgences with me. Instead I bought goggles, bath salts and petals, and a water cannon for Secret Lulu.

She's way into fancy bath stuff right now.

Anyway.

I'd put a bandaid over the coldsore but a Hello Kitty mustache is not exactly an improvement, so I'm just living with it, people. And complaining. Because that makes me feel way better.

So thanks.

Comments

[Diosa]

I've only gotten like two cold sores in my life. One just about took over my face. They hurt like hell. My sister gets them all the time. The minister's daughter gave her mono when she was like two, and my sister passed the herpes that came with it to me. Lil sis would not stay out of my lipstick. Luckily, I'm not nearly as susceptible to outbreaks as she is.

[Desiree]

It might have been something you ate. I have the same type of reaction to acidic foods. I recomend melaleuca oil aka "Tea Tree oil" its a topical organic antibiotic:)
Just see it as a type of balk.

[Equipoise]

Triple antibiotic numbs the pain...and carmex helps too when one cannot find that wonderful tiny $12 tube of abreva. Hope it gets better soon! I totally hate cold sores!

[B.]

But the real question is: can you pick at the cold sore and cause it bleed and grow? A new term I learned from a gaggle of dermatologists is Acne Exoriee and much to my delight there is an entire website devoted to skin picking, aptly titled www.skinpick.com.

I am sorry for your pain. Cup of tea and a Vanity Fair magazine might ease your stress.

[j]

I can't offer any empathy, but maybe can make you feel better as people point, stare and whisper in your direction ;)

On Monday I was taking out the trash (yes, this story is all about why MEN should take out the trash). So carrying said bag of trash I brushed it (accidentally!) against my calf. In said bag of trash---broken glass. 12 stitches and 4 steri strips later I get to leave the hospital with leg bandaged and people pointing, staring and whispering in my direction. Nothing like a trash injury to kill your poise, self esteem and make you wear jeans in 90 degree, super humid weather.

[Polly Poppins]

Diosa, didn't she used to steal your underwear, too?

Desiree, it's possible but I can't remember what I ate and thanks for the tea tree oil suggestion. I'll visit my local Henry's.

Equipoise, what is triple antibiotic? I've used neosporin plus pain relief, is that it? I've got a gross of carmex and camphophenique and neutrogena therapy and, of course, burt's bees in every room of the house (and in the car), at every place I stand or sit for more than five minutes at a time. I have that lipbalm monkey on my back. Bad. I also have Abreva but only one tube, which was in case a cold sore struck, but in the event that I actually have a coldsore, I like to have back up.

B., no picking. But I do use the little face scrubber circles to remove the dampened crust after a hot shower. This does not seem to cause growth. I am googling acne exoriee right now. Please wait. Okay, I thought everyone who ever got a pimple had that disorder. I am bookmarking that site. We are skin pickers (lips for me, cuticles for Mr. Poppins) at our house. From what I read here, we have a lot of pent up rage that we need to deal with. How did they know? This here page seems to hit the trifecta--lip picking, ocd, and coldsores: http://www.skinpick.com/lip-picking

j, ooch. That sounds like it hurts. I'd still recommend shorts, though. You don't need to cover the wound, just a good cover story. Perhaps something involving bears.

[Alice]

Do you think cold sores are worse or canker sores in the mouth? You know - the ones that make you drool because they are in all the wrong places at all the wrong times?

I'm going with canker sores because it makes it harder to eat. Cold sores are uglier though. But the medicine for cold sores is cheaper than for canker sores.

Oh, I don't know, I think canker sores win.

[Alice]

Also, I don't know whats happened to me with blogging. I want to I just don't seem to have anything good enough to say. And you're the only one reading - and I know your phone number. So, really, it's just that it looks so pretty that I want to do something with it.
I think I'm having an early life evolution into someone new, like a caterpillar or whatever you were saying a month ago or so. Also, there's facebook and one liners are so much easier, especially when you just steal them from songs and quote books and what not.

I'll work on it. Thanks for encouraging me.

[Polly Poppins]

Alice, I think Mr. Poppins would vote with you for canker sores. But I don't get those and I'm too self-absorbed to try to imagine that anything could possibly be worse than what I'm going through.

Feel free to guest post over here anytime. Even if it's just a list of stolen quotes.

[J]

Alice, Have you seen Canker Cover at Walgreens? They are little patches that you put over the canker sore and let dissolve (takes a minute give or take). My daughter gets them and we use these at night-next day, sore is GONE!

They're pretty costly, but worth every penny. I even told our opthamologist about them (long story) and he called me the next day to thank me for saving him.

J