If You Belonged Here

The Wanderers

I started to put this post together a long, long time ago. Over a year, really. But then forgot about it. Because it was a page and not actually a post, which means it completely fell off my radar until I resurrected kokology. Because I stopped obsessively checking my traffic and how it got to be my traffic about a year ago, people. Yeah. These days, I'm just phoning it in. That's all I'm going to say. I'll let the text speak for itself:

Lots of people find there way here by accident. I consider that their good fortune but, given what they were looking for, they might disagree. Of course searching the usual suspects--INTJ, Unclog Toilet, Myers-Briggs, Kokology--will get you here. But some of my favorite searches seem to hope they are heading somewhere else entirely. See for yourself:

Kokology: Reading You Like a Book

Let's do this thing, people:

(pg. 52)

1. A book lies open in front of you. What type of story does it contain?
2. You begin to read and soon find that you yourself area a character in the story. What kind of role do you play?
3. You read further and come to a section where the pages have been damaged, making them nearly impossible to read. What part of the story is it?
4. You have just closed the cover after finishing the book. How was the ending?

Remember to answer the way you think is right, people. Don't think you have to interpret the questions according to my answers. But here they are:

1. A coming of age story with a romantic subplot. All kinds of imposing odds and overwhelming circumstances with likable characters and interesting side stories. 

2. I am the lead or a trusted advisor. Maybe the fairy godmother. Can I be my own fairy godmother?

3. A minor scene, of no real importance to the overall story. The scene probably shows something of the character's personality, but isn't part of the main plot.

4. The ending was perfect. Bells ring, choirs sing. Everyone got what they wanted or deserved. I hug the book.

The key is here.

Zombie Apocalypse

So the other day Mr. Poppins woke up a little disappointed. You see, he had been dreaming about the Zombie Apocalypse.

Apparently he was winning.

This is the conversation between Mr. Poppins and I, regarding the Zombie Apocalypse dream:

Mr. Poppins: I am kind of looking forward to the Zombie Apocalypse.

Me: I'm not really looking forward to it.

Mr. Poppins: You know what we call people who don't look forward to the Zombie Apocalypse?

Me: Women?

Mr. Poppins: No, Zombie Food.

Normally, I wouldn't go telling everyone about Mr. Poppins' fondness for the Zombie Apocalypse. Not so much because he would be embarrassed. I really don't think he would. After all, he was winning. But there's a small--teensy, tiny, itty-bitty--part of me that feels that maybe--yes, maybe--he should be at least a little shy about it.

Mr. Poppins posted about his dream on facebook, proving once again that you can never really and truly, one-hundred-percent, know another person. Perhaps the fault is mine. I mean, I should have known.

He was winning.

But the awesome part, even more awesome than the winning, was that apparently Mr. Poppins is not alone in his Zombie Apocalypse fetish. Apparently, geeks everywhere--the boy kind--are plotting with zeal the best plan of counter attack when the zombies rise. These plans, from what I can tell, usually involve an armored school bus, some flame throwers, and a machete.

I'm sure I'm oversimplifying.

A friend even posted a link to a real live article about the Zombie Apocalypse, which referenced a photo essay:

We here at BB HQ spend a lot of time talking about very important things. Of which would be the Zombie Apocalypse.  It seems that geeks of every level have not only been plotting how to deal with the zombies but also how to make them.

You will realize, on closer inspection, that the above picture is of a zombification of a school bus made entirely of legos.

Well. 

There is a quiz that will test your odds of surviving such an apocalypse. 

71%

As you can plainly see, I have only a 71% chance of surviving the Zombie Apocalypse. But wait. The test did not take into account the fact that I am married to Mr. Poppins.

I think my odds may have just improved dramatically.

And then I googled zombie apocalypse again, and no joke and I wouldn't even have recognized him if we weren't facebook friends, came up with a guy I went to kindergarten with modeling a Zombie Apocalypse t-shirt:

 

He was a precious and adorable little boy. Now he's a bad*ss zombie killah and he gets paid for it. Seriously. Mr. Poppins will be impressed. This is the t-shirt I am getting for Mr. Poppins:

I wonder if I can get the friends and family discount?

Anyway, it turns out that the Zombie Apocalypse is a huge big deal and, still, I have the luxury of just going about my business and taking my survival for granted.

I do so love Mr. Poppins.