Polly Chases the Dream

I figure most people who find themselves in the business of procreating--you know, making babies--don't stop until they're in over their heads. In other words, they stop just after one kid too many. So long as the number of kids people have is manageable and fun, they just keep going because hey, this is great.

Until it's not so great.

So if you see someone really struggling with two, three, or even six kids, there's a good chance that they  had a handle on the situation just one kid prior. It's the last kid that did them in. Up until then, they could keep up.

Now, as you know, I only have one kid: Secret Lulu.

I like to say that Secret Lulu was born an only child. I always knew I wasn't cut out for more than one kid. Other people might not approve of my having just the one--and believe me, many didn't--but I was determined to be honest with myself.

Maybe not completely honest. Because I once mentioned the thing about me only being cut out to have one kid to Mr. Poppins and he said, "don't take this the wrong way, honey, but I'm not sure you were cut out for having any kids."

Right.

So I stopped after one. Which, in keeping with my hypothesis, is just one kid more than I could really conveniently manage. Not counting my imaginary kid, James. I could manage him no problem. He was really surprisingly easy.

Anyway.

One kid. And I totally adore her of course. Because not only was she born an only child, she was also born a godchild. As in she doesn't actually, so far as anyone can tell, have a legitimate eat-your-vegetables mother. Just a godmother.

Namely me.

Sure, I gave birth to Secret Lulu and all, but you wouldn't know it from watching us together. Seriously. You'd think that I was her childless aunt and today was the kid's birthday.

Every day.

Secret Lulu doesn't know any different. She thinks that's the way things are meant to be. Actually, she's really quite sure of it.

My mother likes to remind me that she always told me that one day my kids would walk all over me. And she did always tell me that. It's true. But it's not particularly helpful to bring it up now, is it? I mean, how about a little less gloating and a little more sympathy, right?

The upshot is that, while Secret Lulu does occasionally (name the occasion, any occasion) take me for granted, she also adores me with all of her little Secret Lulu heart. Sometimes, her adoration crosses the line into stalking, but on the whole it's quite nice. And while she won't share her candy with me, she is more than happy to let me eat her broccoli.

I take what I can get.

So this is the dream: one day Secret Lulu will be a lovely adult. Absolutely lovely. And she will think I was a wonderful mother and did an amazing job raising her and, really, have just not a single bad thing to say about me in therapy.

Ha!

I said it was a dream, people. But why not? I mean, it's the new year and time for self-evaluation and the compiling of the resolution list that, if adhered to, will bridge the gap between who I am and my  realization of myself as perfected and awe-inspiring being. Because, let's face it, if I lost fifteen pounds and started running every day and sending out timely correspondence, I really will disappear into a silver glow of light and become one with the universe.

For real.

In the meantime, it's New Year's Eve and I plan to party like it's 1999. Which was--and I firmly believe this is so obscene that, ACLU be hanged, it should be outlawed--over a decade ago.  Truly indecent. I don't know how we can go on in light of such disturbing information.

But in spite of the perverse and unchangeable fact that I am no longer twenty-four, I persist. With dazzle. I do. Because Secret Lulu needs someone, namely me, to provide a stellar example of what it means to live and love, to do and be. I want to be that example. I really do.

I resolve to be that example.

So that some day, when Secret Lulu is dancing around in a tank top and a feather boa, sipping wine and eating gourmet cupcakes with her best and favorite most-fabulous friends, she can say that she is living a dream come true because she always wanted to grow up to be just like her mama and her mama's friends.

Comments

[The Dol]

for chrissakes, you're going to make me cry into my beans and wine.

because that's what i'm having this new year's eve. my kid is sick, so there's no partying at the dolhouse.

i adore you, polly. you are fabulous, and you just keep getting fabulouser.

[alice]

I want to grow up and be like secret Lulu, with a birthday everyday godmother mother. Lucky little Lulu, having such a great Momma! Happy new year!

[Pandora]

Once upon a time, I wanted seven little Pandoras. Now, I'm thinking I want three. But, not for at least 10 years.

Secret Lulu has the coolest mom ever. So does Baby Dol.

[Diosa]

I am the kind of mom that forces my kids to eat their vegetables or they don't get any dessert. But it's not like they don't eat more than their fair share of chicken nuggets and mac & cheese. I just feel like it's my duty to force something healthy on them once in a while.

Kicker of it is, I wouldn't be surprised if Lulu grows up to be a much healthier eater than my boys. You just gotta do whatever feels right.

[Mattie]

Having no children of my own and with the fact that I have two ficus trees that are dying I have no reason to believe that I have any insight into the rearing (I just wanted to use rearing in a sentence) of children. I will say this, provide tons of love, daily quality time, ways to build character and self-confidence, and common sense things like zipping up your fly, or looking both ways before crossing the street. Everything else you do right is gravy, and the mistakes you make are marginal. So ends the lession from the Greatest Dad in the World...with no kids!

[Polly]

Secret Lulu is having a bawth. That's how she says it "having a bawth."

[Mattie]

By the way I am about to start the fourth book of the Vampire Academy. How I let you get me sucked (no pun intended) into another group of vampire books is something that will cost me a lot of money in therapy. You should see the looks I get from the clerk when I buy one. I swear to god last time I bought a Tom Clancy book as well just to make it look like it wasn't for me. Thanks bookgirl...I had just gotten over the twilight ridicule.

[The Dol]

hoo-eee! hahaha! mattie, i love the idea that you bought a tom clancy along with vampire academy just to keep the clerks from giving you weird looks. i would totally do something like that. well, let me say i would have done something like that, except now i have a kindle, so i can buy all the smut i want and nobody can give me weird looks.

[Diosa]

I just begged bookgirl to send me the second one.

[Bookgirl]

Polly, I look forward to the day when my little Genevieve comes along, and she has you for a fairy godmother, so I can pretend to not notice when you give her all the things I won't.

And as for Vampire Academy, told ya... ( :