Being the Facebook whore I am, I naturally had to post pictures of my Disneyland trip I made for my birthday with my best friend, her brother, and her brother's roommate. Shortly after I posted the pictures, my good friend down south (lets call him Indo because he's Indonesian and keeps promising me that he'll take me to Bali) texted me saying "Yo, Pandora. Your best friend, Beauty, she's hot!"
Cue the eye roll.
People, I know my best friend is hot (actually I'm only friends with attractive people) so please don't keep telling me. But yes, Beauty is smokin'. My 4 best friends are all gorgeous in their own ways, but she fits the stereotype of the girl all guys want to--excuse me--bang.
Now Beauty and I have been best friends since her birth (she is a year younger than me) and our fathers have been best friends for over 30 years. We were attached at the hip. We never went to the same school until high school though. She went to a small private Christian school until 8th grade and I rocked the public school education for all 13 years. Now, she was nervous about finally going to a public school. She told me that she wanted to be popular and popular she did become.
Beauty always had a boyfriend and was in that group of the so called "popular kids." It always blew people's minds when I told them she was my best friend (It wasn't like I was uncool because I was well liked by everyone. It just took people a bit longer to notice me).
I couldn't stand her high school boyfriend. The boy matched better than I did and drove a car that was worth more than 4 of my friends cars combined. This one time she invited him on our annual camp trip, but didn't tell me he was coming until we were pulling out of the driveway.
"But you wouldn't have come if he did!"
Right she was.
Living vicariously through Beauty was much easier than being her accomplice. I, for one, would much rather hear how she got stuck in a crack house in the ghetto of Sacramento or drunk-tanked at a Pepper concert in San Francisco than actually partake in it.
"I made friends with these girls on the BART that had a handle of vodka"
Of course you did, darling.
I graduated and left Beauty behind. Of course we still talked every other day, but one conversation we had in the middle of the semester stood out.
"Pandora, these girls are whores and bitches. How have I always been friends with them?"
No shit, Beauty, why do you think I never hung out with you on campus?
Long story short, Beauty realized that her "popular" friends were some of the fakest people she have ever encountered. Beauty broke down and finally told me how she admired how I never had drama and how I managed to keep such chill friends. She and I have reached the conclusion that we're always going to be there for each other.
She'll be the one throwing me the killer bachelorette party and standing by my side at my wedding. She'll be godmother to my children. She'll be the one I take spontaneous cross country road trips with.
Beauty graduated and is attending a junior college near Newport Beach. Yeah, I know, some of the fakest people in the world probably reside there, but Beauty loves it. She's truly a city girl at heart and the lights of LA just call her name. We still talk almost every other day and we make trips to visit each other.
I just told my guy friends that Beauty is going to come down and visit me next month. Pretty sure the last time I saw a grin that devious was on the 6-year-old I babysit for.
Just the other day I asked her what she was doing for New Years.
"Oh my god, I'm going to this rave in downtown Los Angeles and David Guetta is going to be preforming!"
Of course you are.
Even though we're both getting older, some things never change.
ok, i had to go look on your facebook page to assess the hotness. yep, she's hot. but then, so are you, darling. and i'm glad you have chill friends, and your head screwed on straight. it's a relief to me, since you're in my town these days and i feel at least somewhat personally responsible for your well-being.
and it is good to have friends that will be your friends for evah. it is a good, good thing.
Posted by: The Dol | January 04, 2010 at 04:38 PM
I'm kind of ticked off about this post. It's nothing personal, just that it got me to doing math on me, Diosa, Bookgirl, and the Dol. And two and two added up mighty quick to older than Pandora is now.
My eyebrows are up somewhere by my hairline. If someone doesn't card me soon, I might have to schedule emergency botox.
Posted by: Polly | January 04, 2010 at 08:33 PM
I'm going to have to do exactly what The Dol did and facebook this Beauty. Wait here...
Posted by: Alice | January 06, 2010 at 03:00 AM
Emergency botox? That surgeon's going to look at you and ask whether your parents are going to sign the consent form.
Posted by: Kit | January 06, 2010 at 04:56 AM
I adore Kit. Love, love, love.
I looked at your Facebook to see Beauty, but was distracted by Sex on a Stick. She deserves the name. Sorry. But now that I found her, I think you're just as pretty as Beauty.
And Beauty really will be the one by you at all those events. Di and I have been friends since we were 5 and 6, and Polly came into the mix in junior high. Except I can't make any promises about the weddings, since despite 20 years of friendship, i wasn't invited to either of Polly's weddings. Not that I'm bitter or anything...
Posted by: Bookgirl | January 06, 2010 at 10:46 AM
Sex on a Stick really needs a name of her own. If she knew we were referring to her as that, I'm sure her little innocent self would have red cheeks and fogged up glasses.
Also, just because I referred to her as that, it doesn't think that I mean she is! It was purely for lack of better name.
Posted by: Pandora | January 06, 2010 at 10:57 AM
Sorry, Pandora. If the shoe fits and all.
And she's just going to be hotter with the red cheeks and foggy glasses. There's no stopping the innocent hotness of your baby sister.
Posted by: The Dol | January 06, 2010 at 02:20 PM
Accept it, my dear Pandora. This isn't going to get old for us any time soon.
Posted by: Bookgirl | January 06, 2010 at 02:31 PM
I can completely understand your friend's life. I have many of the same problems. I walk into a bar with a hot girl on my arm and the first thing that happens is all the guys are not checking out my date, but me...with a real bitchy look on their faces. They check out what I am wearing, my somewhat formed pecks, my Florsheim shoes, and I'm sure as I walk by my ass. They're thinking, 'who does he think he is!'
The thing that really sucks is most of my friends are good looking...not up to my level but close. When we are out women come on to them all the time. I guess they think that someone so beautiful is taken, or would just look at them with distain. But really, a lot of us 'beautiful people' are very lonely. We feel empty inside because we have always managed to get what we want, not from our hidden talents, but because of our godlike faces. Hmmm so sad.
Posted by: Mattie | January 06, 2010 at 03:23 PM
@ Mattie, someday everyone will realize you're more than just another pretty face.
@pandora, stop fighting the inevitable and admit the hotness.
Posted by: Polly | January 06, 2010 at 04:41 PM
mattie, all it takes to win me over is a killer personality.
@bookgirl, dol, and polly, never will i admit it!
Posted by: Pandora | January 06, 2010 at 10:38 PM
For the record, I've spent most of my life dreaming of being pretty enough for someone to want me just for my looks. If anyone wants to objectify me, I'd be delighted.
Posted by: Bookgirl | January 07, 2010 at 06:38 AM