Bookgirl: I'm ready. Hit me.
Alice: How long have you lived in the Big Apple?
Bookgirl: Twelve years. I moved here right after college.
When I was thirteen.
Alice: You are recently roommate-less for the first time in
years. Does this mean you are spending a lot more time in the nude?
Bookgirl: You have no idea.
Alice: You’re nude right now, aren’t you?
Bookgirl: I'm lucky I remember to put clothes on before I
leave the house.
Alice: Is your belly button still pierced?
Bookgirl: I decided I was bored with it. For the record, if
you're wobbling on a dock in Mexico, having just debarked a tequila booze
cruise, you should probably resist the urge toward body piercing. Even if a
Merchant Marine from the cruise pays for it.
Alice: Duly noted.
You're a self-proclaimed shoe goddess. Who's your favorite
shoe designer?
Bookgirl: I don't do labels. I want the shoes to call my
name, not someone else's.
Alice: So you have a "pathological fear of sharks"
but recently went diving in a shark tank?
Bookgirl: The only thing worse than going in the shark tank
was admitting I was too afraid to go in. It took me forever to make myself jump
off the boat.
Alice: Are you still afraid of sharks?
Bookgirl: Terrified. But for the record, I didn't cry.
Alice: If you had to go back and spend eternity in one of
the following, which would it be: high school, college, or your first four
months in New York? You can choose hell as an alternative but I would advise
against it.
Bookgirl: College. If my scholarship had covered more than four
years, I would have figured out a way to stay. I still get together with my
sorority sisters to watch football.
Alice: Did you have your own fantasy league again this year?
Bookgirl: My team was The Providence Powder Puffs. I always pick
the same name because I love the thought of the guys having to admit that they
lost to The Powder Puffs. And I imagine it takes some of the fun out of
bragging when they win.
Alice: So you are a weight watchers addict like me—do you
ever buy Weight Watchers brand foods at the store?
Bookgirl: I used to, but then I remembered: they taste awful.
Alice: I only ever bought the desserts. I would have bought
Weight Watchers beer if they had it though—you know, like celery beer or
something.
Bookgirl: Becks light, my friend: I love a beer that can claim a calorie count equal to a medium-sized apple.
Alice: What are you currently reading?
Bookgirl: The Percy Jackson Lightning Thief series. Total
book candy.
Alice: Explain “book candy.”
Bookgirl: “Book candy” means books that are pure fun that
you can just zip through quickly.
Alice: You work at a major publishing house. Are there any
major publishing houses anywhere besides New York? Like, Colorado, for example?
Bookgirl: The big houses are all in New York. Polly insists
it's because our weather is bad, and if they were somewhere sunnier, they
couldn't get us to work the hours we do.
Alice: You work a lot of hours?
Bookgirl: I have a go-go gadget desk. It opens up into a cot
for the nights when it's not worth going home.
Alice: Is it worth it?
Bookgirl: Yeah, totally worth it. There's nothing in the
world I want to do more than what I do.
Alice: Not even Robert Downey Jr.?
Bookgirl: Wait. Can I do him for money? No one told me that
was on the menu!
Alice: What percentage of your time at work is spent
lounging around with a Starbucks in one hand and a fabulous book in the other?
Bookgirl: There's always a Starbucks in my hand. But
unfortunately, despite what you might think, I don't get to read much at work.
That's what my eight minutes a day of free time are for.
Alice: Do you have a favorite moment in publishing?
Bookgirl: We had a launch party once, and both Arthur Miller
and Studs Terkel were there. But the party was for the John Steinbeck
anniversary, and his son was there. Now Steinbeck is my all-time favorite
American author, and I got to hang out with his son and talk about his dad: which
of his books was his favorite, what he was like. I was giddy for weeks.
Alice: So you so end your days hanging with famous authors
then? You’re kind of a superstar—and you're in Mensa, right?
Bookgirl: Yes, I'm in Mensa. I'm never sure if people are
going to find that cool or creepy.
Alice: I think that depends. What are the meetings like?
Bookgirl: Last time I went to one, we saw Leatherheads then
went to the diner.
Alice: Not what I would have guessed.
I heard a rumor that you have a character in a book named
after you?
Bookgirl: The famous author's name removed to thwart stalkers book? Every so often I'll get a
call from someone who's reading a book and spotted my name, which is fun. And the first time an author put me in
the acknowledgments I thought it was beyond cool. Now it's mostly just
something my mom can tell her friends,
Alice: That’s total celebrity status—I’d show everyone, like
look my friend Bookgirl is in here. Which reminds me, what’s your favorite celebrity
moment? Was it with Shalom Auslander?
Bookgirl: No. Not Shalom Auslander.
Alice: I just love that book, “A Foreskins Lament,” it's so
funny. Your house publishes that, don’t you?
Bookgirl: So I’ve heard, Alice. Because you’ve mentioned it,
you know, several times.
Alice: You have to read it. And you have to talk to Shalom
about giving me an interview.
Bookgirl: You're fixating.
Alice: Bookie.
Bookgirl: Okay, okay. You win. I'll read it. Even though the
word foreskin makes me a little nauseated. I had this one experience—well, never
mind.
Alice: What about the interview.
Bookgirl: I’ll work on it.
Alice: Great. Now what’s your favorite celebrity moment?
Bookgirl: I worked on the Tommy Lee book, and when I heard
he was coming into the office, I made a joke about asking him to sign my book…chest…whatever.
My boss told me he had told Tommy the story, and I thought he was kidding,
until he introduced me as "the girl I was telling you about." Awkward.
Alice: Any celeb run-ins on the streets of NYC?
Bookgirl: One time I was in a bar, and someone bumped into
my back. When I turned around, it was Lily Tomlin.
Alice: You mentioned that you and the city might need
couple’s therapy soon.
Bookgirl: New York isn't always an easy place to live.
Sometimes it's you versus the city and, well, you're losing. But then every so
often, there are these perfect moments. Everything just comes together. You
look around you and think, "I love this city." I call them the
"I-love-New York moments." And as long as you have one of those for
every three "why do I live in this wretched city?" moments, it's all
worth it.
Alice: How many weddings have you been in?
Bookgirl: All of them. I have a collection of baby blue bridesmaid
dresses that would make you weep.
Alice: So always the bridesmaid, never the bride?
Bookgirl: Have you ever heard of the band Trick Pony? They
have a song with the refrain "I'm so glad I'm not the bride." I like
to think of it as my theme song.
Alice: You have no kids and no pets but something like sixty-two
godchildren. Who is your favorite and why?
Bookgirl: I absolutely do not have a favorite.
Alice: I bet you couldn’t even type that with a straight
face. You totally have a favorite. Which one is it? Lemme guess: Ella.
Bookgirl: Of course not. (Yes.)
Alice: If I were your godchild would I be your favorite?
Bookgirl: That depends. Can you rival her ability to be
adorable and a total witch at the same time?
Alice: Duh.
I have one more question: Do the bright lights inspire you?
Bookgirl: Let's hear it for New York, New York!!!!!
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