If You Belonged Here

Diosa's Living it Up

 I am thoroughly enjoying the eighty degree weather the last few days. On Saturday I actually put on my bikini, oiled myself up and sat in a lounge chair in the sun reading The Southern Vampire series. Of course, this was after bringing the boys for their baseball pictures and opening day ceremonies, and Blackstone was working so I had to get up every two minutes to make lemonade for the lemonade stand, cut watermelon, bandage scraped knees, and referee the fighting.

Still, this is as close to blissful relaxation as my days tend to get lately. I'm going to enjoy what I can get while I can get it.

The pic is my bathing suit, courtesy of NY and Co.:

 

It's not me wearing it, obviously. Not that I'm completely opposed to putting a photo of myself in a bikini on the blog, but that would require me putting the suit on, getting dolled up and finding Blackstone to take a picture, and then a little Photoshop work. Hey, all the models do it, why shouldn't I get the airbrush treatment? And Blackstone's leaving for a meeting.

In all reality, you can find me in a bikini on FB if you're so inclined. It's not that exciting. I wouldn't waste my time.

Anyway, this weekend was way better than the preceding week which consisted of my car's starter dying a sudden death, the grinder on my coffee pot giving it's final farewell and both the boys having a twelve hour stomach bug. I don't think LT even woke up before he puked.

My tummy hurt and I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, there was throw up in my bed.

I'm pretty sure the vomit didn't magically materialize in his bed while he was in the bathroom. I've never heard of the Puke Fairy. It's also rather suspicious that he had vomit in his hair, but there was no convincing him that he did it.

Poor thing. Never saw it coming.

I also got fitted for contacts for the first time. I'm not sure I'm in love. They're not very comfortable. I'm still adjusting and this is just a trial set, so hopefully things will work out. I have very little vision correction, it's the astigmatism that's the problem, which limits my contact options.

It's not so much that I have an issue with wearing glasses. I actually think they look quite good on me, and I like looking studious. The problem is that my skin is oily and they tend to slide off my face. And once summer gets into full swing and I'm chasing my kids around, it's a bit of a pain. I'd like a little more freedom in my life.

I haven't found that men find glasses a turn off either. I'd say it's quite the opposite for my husband. And one of Trouble's classmate's dad's asked me if I had any single sisters recently. I ran into the same guy at Dunkin' Donuts a week later. I said hello figuring it would be rude not to, I mean, I have the man's cell phone number programmed into my phone and his son is at my house often, I should at least say hello when we run into each other at the coffee shop, right?

He didn't recognize me.

I took my sunglasses off, figuring that was the issue. But no, that wasn't it.

He said he didn't recognize me without my clothes on.

I looked down confused. No, this was not a dream and I was in fact wearing a red spaghetti strap tank and tan shorts.

I'm not sure what I said at that point, unclear whether to be insulted, flattered or somewhat fearful for my physical well being. The guy has tattoos on his neck, so I'm leaning more toward the latter than the former. Not that I'm one to be judgmental about tattoos, but I'm not one to frequent coffee shops in the nude either.

Good thing he didn't come by the house Saturday and catch me in the red bikini. If a tank and shorts is nude, I'm not  sure how you classify a bikini.

Diosa Does Disney

We took a family trip to Disney World at the end of January. You know, that obligatory family trip that's practically a rite of passage in this country. I know all sorts of families that have differing opinions on the Disney trip. Some just refuse to do anything quite so cliché and commercialized. Others make the trip a yearly tradition. And then some, like us, make the trip once, maybe a second time. Of course, we're talking families that can actually afford vacations. Let's not forget that not everyone is quite so fortunate.

Now, by saying the trip is obligatory, that doesn't mean that it's not enjoyable. Disney is pretty amazing. It's different for this generation than it was for me, though. I went to Disney once as a kid. I was nine and I was a huge fan of the Disney channel. The Disney channel is still around, but it's not what it used to be. My kids barely knew who Mickey and Donald were before we went. They've never seen the old Disney cartoons. Maybe they show them at some specified time or not at all. I have no idea. And seeing that I have two boys, the whole princess-thing is of no interest. They've never been fans of Little Einsteins, Hannah Montana, Handy Manny or anything else Disney. Trouble has recently discovered the Jonas Brothers, but I don't think it's clear to him they have anything to do with Disney.

So while my boys were excited to go to Disney, they weren't really sure why they were excited. It was like they knew they were supposed to be excited, and they were trying to be, but couldn't really muster the actual emotion.

It turns out one of their favorite parts of the trip was watching the old Disney cartoons that they showed constantly in the hotel lobby. I'm thinking I need to buy them a DVD. Every night when we got in they wanted to spend half an hour watching cartoons in the lobby.

And as you can see in the following clip, the boys learned to appreciate Mickey Mouse while we were there.

Trouble was excited to be in Florida in January, period. As soon as we stepped out of the airport and he felt how much warmer it was, and saw palm trees for the first time that he could remember (he has been to visit Polly and family in San Diego, but he was only five and doesn't remember much), he was in love. 

You are taking a chance visiting Florida in January, or practically in any season for that matter. In the fall, you're taking your chances with hurricane season. School vacations, I hear, are a nightmare. Summer is too hot. We had days that it was 70 and we even managed to hit the one water park that was open. Blizzard Beach was closed for maintenance. These are the chances you take when you visit off-season. We had other days where it rained and was 50. We also didn't have to wait in extraordinarily long lines. We used Fast Passes for only the most popular of rides. Most times you didn't even need them.

One thing about Disney is that it requires a great deal of planning and the choices are overwhelming. You can stay at a Disney resort or stay off-site and rent a car. There are certain perks to staying at the Disney resorts. You don't need to rent a car or pay for parking and there are extra magic hours available at one of the parks each day. We decided to stay at one of the more economical Disney resorts - All Star Sports. It was nice enough. The room was roughly the size of a shoebox, but seeing that we spent less than one waking hour in the room most days, that didn't matter much. There was an outdoor heated pool, but the one big drawback was no jacuzzi.

We also did the Disney Dining plan with one quick service and one sit-down meal each day. I spent two hours on the phone with a Disney booking agent arranging our dining a couple of months before we left. Curls tipped me off to that. 

You can't expect to be able to make dinner reservations once you're down there. You have to do it months, or at least weeks, in advance. And to book your meal reservations, you have to know which park you're going to be in each day because you don't want to have to leave a park and spend an hour traveling to another park for lunch or dinner. Like I said, a lot of decisions and planning.

The best part of the dining plan was that some of our meals weren't actually at the parks but at different resorts. And some of those high-end resorts are amazing. We got to see the Boardwalk, which must be five star. It's one of the resorts where they perform weddings. From there, we caught the ferry over to Epcot and entered that park through the back door. We also saw the Animal Kingdom resort where you can watch the giraffes while you soak in the hot tub. And the kids' favorite was the Wilderness Lodge. The way the different pools all connect and follow a path through the resort --wow. And then inside, the main lobby goes straight up through the five or so levels of rooms which are an open, log cabin design. Very cool.

LT was also very thrilled to learn that he was tall enough to hit the height requirement of 42" on most of the rides. I think the only place there were some rides he couldn't do was at the water park.

And Trouble even got to train as young Padewan.

I wouldn't want to go back and do Disney the way we did this time. It was a great trip, but not one I'd want to repeat. I could go back and spend a week at the Animal Kingdom Lodge or Wilderness Lodge, they're resorts in and of themselves, and spend some time outside of Disney. Visit Sea World and Universal. Of course, we're talking an even more expensive trip than the one I'm still paying for.

But it was totally worth it.

One thing you want to make sure you don't miss if you go is the show Fantasmic at Hollywood Studios. Truly awe inspiring and magical.

 

Blackstone keeps telling me that our next couple of trips should be to see the icebergs before they melt and Venice before it's under water. I think he has a point.

Alice Finds Diosa

 Alice: What’s your favorite color?

Diosa: Green.

Alice:  How old are you?

Diosa: 34.

Alice: Would you love it if I ask you a million questions like that?

Diosa: Not so much.

Alice: So you've been married to the same man, Blackstone, for a long time? 

Diosa: We've been married for over ten years, together for seventeen years; half my life.

Alice: And he’s your first husband, right? Impressive.

We've heard that Polly said “don't do it” on your wedding day, but what was going through your head?

Diosa: I wasn't ready to leave my future husband at the altar. Totally not my style. But I had rationally had a conversation with him the previous week stating that if things didn't get better soon, I'd divorce him.

Alice: I had that same conversation with my first husband. My situation turned out a little different than yours.

Diosa: The six months preceding and following my wedding were some of the worst of my life. We had been together a long time, and I knew I loved him. I trusted in the fact that it was a rough patch and we would get through it. Luckily, I seemed to be right.

Alice: Blackstone looks just like John Cusack. So I assume you think John Cusack is hot.

Diosa: I had quite a thing for John Cusack before I met Blackstone. It may have helped things along.

Alice: How many urinary tract infections did it take before your dad said "I have two words for you: Oral Sex”?

Diosa: I've had so many, it's hard to count let alone keep track of how many I'd had at one point or another. I was still living at home, so let's put the number at about ten or fifteen.

Alice: Were you mortified or was that normal banter around your house?

Diosa: I was mortified but that comment was not out of character for my house. I still remember coming home one night, kissing my dad good night and having him say, "You smell like sex." I'm sure he was right. Neither his being right, nor his consistency in making such blunt and direct comments made it less mortifying.

Alice: In the same post you said you had tried spraying vodka up your nose to cure a sinus infection. Have you ever heard of Sudafed?

Diosa: I have. I like Vodka better.

Alice: Me, too—me, too.

Diosa: The neti pot works best for me, though. And I prefer any possible method of handling my sinus infections over having my nose broken.

Alice: So your first career was as a high school English teacher?

Diosa: You must have gotten the common thread between me, Bookgirl and Polly by now.

Alice: You were all teachers?

Diosa: No, silly. Bookgirl's in publishing. Polly's an aspiring writer and sometimes copy editor. I was an English teacher. The common thread is love of reading and writing. Even if I did end up an IT Manager. At least, for now.

Alice: Tell us the craziest thing a student ever did, a time when you knew you should be pissed but all you could do was laugh.

Diosa: Um, usually all I could do was be pissed. It's why I quit.

But one time when I was student teaching, I made the mistake of asking two senior boys if they were going to the freshman dance. One answered, "Yes, fresh meat." The other, "Not me, Miss Diosa. I like older women."

Alice: Speaking of kids: yours run away from home, huh?

Diosa: Little Trouble (LT) escaped on several occasions at two and three, but I wouldn't call that running away.

Trouble actually ran away about a year ago. During the winter. Left a note on the fridge and everything. He was picked up by the police a few blocks away—eight years old, no hat or gloves, carrying a stuffed animal. I guess he looked pretty suspicious.

Alice: I like that kid. And the escapee.

Diosa: Trouble also recently told the principal that his father choked him. I had a very unpleasant conversation with her and she decided not to call in the social workers, this time.

Alice: Your boys are the real deal.

Diosa: Tom Sawyer had nothing on them.

Alice: You wrote in a post about teaching "Often as a teacher, once you meet a student's parents their kid's behavior becomes more understandable." What do you think Trouble’s teachers say when he pulls the "dad strangled me" act?

Diosa: I can't imagine. I hope they know him well enough to understand that he's spoiled rotten and a complete drama queen. I figure if they haven’t called the authorities, they must get that. But both boys are actually well behaved at school.

Alice: Okay, so you quit being a schoolteacher and went back to school yourself to become an IT whiz. If you get tired of that will you go back to school again?

Diosa: Maybe. I love school. I just hate paying for it.

There's nothing else I'm burning to learn, though. Reading, writing, technology—those are my passions. If there's another career in my future, it's something more physical: yoga instructor, personal trainer.

Alice: Are you a hacker? Could you break into a credit card companies computer system and rip them off pennies at a time?

Diosa: I'm no hacker. Though, to be honest, if I should I be so inclined, I could set up one of those fishing websites that lures less computer literate individuals into giving away their social security or credit card numbers. It's not really that hard.

Alice: I knew it.

Didn’t you get your old boss’s job?

Diosa: Yes, I did. I think I'm in way over my head.

Alice: You once wrote that you were "relentless, thorough, and intense" but trying to be better about change—accepting it, embracing it. How’s that going?

Diosa: I had a review with my new boss, the CEO. His one criticism was that I should lighten up and smile more. Obviously, I'm doing great at being less intense.

Alice: You have some good posts on your blog about women, their roles, abilities, and such. Do you consider yourself a feminist?

Diosa: When men I work with call me "sweetheart" or "darlin'," I have mental visions of slugging them. If that makes me a feminist, then so be it.

More often, though, it seems I get accused of behaving like a man rather than a feminist. I think that’s a bit different. A feminist is still considered as acting and thinking like woman. When you act like a man, you're not trying to make people behave differently or change the world. You just do what you want and fuck anyone who doesn't agree.

People can call me anything they want but at the end of the day, I'm not going to care enough about what they think to change the way I behave.

Alice: You live in a really old house, right?

Diosa: In New England, if your house was built this century, it's not all that old. Ours was built in the 1950's, so it’s just old enough to need a new roof, heating system, windows, drainage….

Alice:  It seems like you've been working on it for a long time, if you could do it over would you buy a new build so you didn't have to deal with all the renovations and problems?

Diosa: Every house is eventually going to require maintenance. The grass is always greener. Didn't that come up in Chance's interview? Yeah, grass is just plain grass.

Alice: Well, maybe different shades?

Diosa: I'm one of those rare birds that have always been quite satisfied with my own brand of grass, thank you very much. Life is never going to be perfect. And if it was, I'd be bored, and I hate being bored.

Alice: Things I’ve picked up form your blog: aluminum-free deodorant and Weeds. Do you have any other wisdom to offer?

Diosa: I was really very disappointed to learn that Uno's has done away with their Uno's Amber Ale recently. That's not really wisdom, but it's what's on my mind to share.

Alice: Noted. Are you sure you don't want to do a pet interview?

Diosa: Quite sure. But you reminded me I have to go feed Flame his worms and crickets. Trouble isn't home tonight.

Alice: What is Flame again?

Diosa: Leopard Gecko.