If You Belonged Here

When the Party's Over

I guess I'm in the mood for kokology again.

(p. 85) You drew the short straw and ended up with the unenviable task of being designated driver for the night. You resign yourself to a long night of club soda and cocktail nuts and manage to make it all the way to the agreed-upon twelve o'clock final round. But your jolly companions have different ideas, and with eyes out of focus and beer on their breath, the call goes out for "just one more for the road!"

Nobody like to be a wet blanket, but you've had enough. What do you say to convince your drunken friends that it really is time to go home?

1. "If you stay out any later, there's going to be hell to pay when you get home."

2. "If I don't get home soon, I'm going to have to sleep in the dog-house."

3. "You've already had enough. Let's go before you make yourself sick."

4. "Come on, party's over. I've got to get up early tomorrow."

I'm going to have to go with 4, although my version of it is "if I stay up any later I'm not going to be safe to drive."

Look for the key here after we've all had time to play.

Snip

Who wants to goof off with me and play a little kokology? Ah, I knew you'd want to....

(p. 82) Hand most people a pen and paper and ask them to draw something specific, and they will draw it for you without a second thought. But give them the same pen and paper and ask them to draw anything they like, and most will freeze up for a moment. Sometimes the prospect of total freedom makes us hesitate more than the most challenging obstacle.

You have a single sheet of paper and a pair of scissors. You've been asked to cut the paper into two halves in any way you like. How do you cut the paper?

1. A clean cut straight down the middle.
2. A line curving back and forth several times.
3. A jagged-edged cut.
4. A single gently rounded curve.

I'm going with a clean cut straight down the middle, although assuming the paper is traditional letter size, I'd cut it on the horizontal rather than the vertical. I don't like long, skinny rectangles.

POST SCRIPT: (this is not a drill)
Hank help us all. Sometimes kokology really gets on my nerves. This, if you haven't gathered already, is one of those times. Really, let's restate the question:

I hand you a paper and tell you to divide it in two (not necessarily equal) parts. You can

1. use a straight line to cut it
2. use a "whatever, I'm not going to be careful and no one would call this line straight" line to cut it
3. skip the scissors and just tear it in two
4. cut a circle out of the center of the paper

P.P.S. Here's the key.

Happy Landings

Well, people, last week's kokology went so well, I thought we'd try it again:

Every day, people pay good money for the privilege of stepping out the door of a moving airplane and plunging to earth. Skydiving isn't for everyone, but the statistics tell us it's actually a low-risk venture, considerably safer than, say, trying to cross against the light in Manhattan traffic. But even knowing that, we have a hard time finding a rational explanation for the act. Some say it's the adrenaline, but for veteran enthusiasts, that purely physical rush has worn off after the first few jumps. The thing that really keeps calling them back is those brief few minutes of perfect clarity as the natural world lies spread out in miniature beneath their feet. Yes, the old timers will tell you, it's not the thrill of the jump, it's the view on the way down.

You are mid-descent, floating slowly earthward under the canopy of your own open parachute. Describe the view as you look down.

1. A field of grass and flowers.
2. A craggy, rocky landscape.
3. Wild animals waiting with open jaws.
4. A flowing river.

My answer is one. And the flowers are yellow. I'm posting the answer here now, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't share.