If You Belonged Here

Pandora Lost Her Groove

It's gone, baby, gone.

Actually, it's been gone since about the beginning of March but I just now realized it's truly missing.  Not having my groove is seriously effecting my social life because quite frankly, what's a goddess without her groove?  She's just ordinary and I, Pandora, am anything but ordinary.

I think it starting slipping away sometime after my friend's birthday. That's when I hit a relapse with the ex.  

Did you know that it was possible to have someone break up with you more than once after the initial breakup?  

I've been dumped three times by the same guy within the same month. He's the first guy to ever completely mess with my emotions and my normally grounded mind.  I still don't even think he fully realizes how much of an idiot he was about everything.  Plus, the more I analyze the situation, the more I realize that he wasn't that much different from any other guy.  Oh, it doesn't make him a bad person, it just doesn't make him the right person for me.    

On top of that, San Diego and schoolwork were doing a number on me.  I needed to escape and leave everyone and everything- at least for a bit.  I impulsively decided to go back home to the mountains for spring break.  I took my daddy's credit card and booked some of the last remaining seats on the cheapest flights I could find.

No Cabo San Lucas and no body shots on the pier for me.  I wanted my cat, a glass of wine, and to watch musicals with my mother while it snowed.  The mountains are my happy place where nothing changes.  I know that my favorite lesbian bakery will always be making paninis and that my candy store will always sell gummy cola bottles that I can mix with sour worms. 

I went all Eat, Pray, Love these past few weeks.  I indulged in home-cooked meals, had serious conversations with my closest friends, and loved every moment I spent with my mother and father.  It was sort of a mini mid-life crisis, and I'm still in the middle of it.  

Maybe it's just more of a funk.  

To me having a dream that WWIII was happening on American soil complete with terrorist attacks was a clear sign not to get on an airplane or to be back in San Diego.  It didn't help my anxiety that I drank three cups of coffee before the flight.  Not even Ben Gibbard or Devendra Banhart settled me.  Nonetheless, I'm back down south, but I really don't want to be here.   

I need my groove and ENFP self back.  I'm nothing without either one of those.  For my first week back, I didn't even want to see anyone outside of my roommates.  Instead, I stayed home, did homework, and somehow managed to get sick.  

I'm ready to have my groove back. I'm just going to need a little help and support on the way.  I'm not even sure where to start.       

So, folks:  

Help me find my groove?

Do you think you know where it's gone?

What can I do to get it back and reach full goddess potential?

Maybe an all-girl dance party complete with demon alcohol and a killer playlist  (ahem Dol...)?

 

Pandora Is Begging the Question And Begins...

 Being the ENFP I am, I rarely finish anything I start.  I'm the person who'd be all stoked about knitting a scarf, but for Christmas you'll receive a potholder instead because I got bored.  Same goes for blogging.  I knew that I had a lot to say and figured I had enough to spill to the world to create my own.  Truth is, I had more fun designing the look of my blog than I did posting on it.  That's why I'm happy Polly lets me write here.  She keeps me a strict schedule which all ENFPs need in order to get shiz done. 

What is the thing you'd most like to begin?

I want to begin a better workout plan.  Yeah I know, you all think I'm young and hot.  I'm humbled by your flattery, but in all seriousness, I can't exactly be eating the way I do and expect abs to appear magically.  Now, that'd be a superpower I'd want.  Also, I'm not trying to sound like the insecure college girl here, I just know if I picked up the physical activity, I'd feel a bit better.  

Finally, just because I picked exercise as something I'd like to most begin, it doesn't mean I'm limiting my options.  I mean, I'm also open to most begin trying new things.  Perhaps try new foods, extreme mountain biking, long boarding, mixed drinks, Puerto Ricans...  

Oh god, there I go being an ENFP again... 

  

Pandora Ventures Onto Chatroulette

Oh it's a man's man's man's world and that's no exception for the internet phenomenon, Chatroulette.  I kind of felt like Lisa Ling going into the jungle for Oprah to bring back secrets of secretive societies.  Yours truly, Pandora, ventured where few chicks go and many dicks do-- literally.  

For months I had been avoiding the site.  The idea of letting a random stranger see my face--let alone hear my voice--over the Internet was disturbing.  It's not really that I care what others see about me, I'm just not really into the whole anonymous male genitalia thing.  

Let me rephrase that; I like penis.  Yes, I do.  

I happen to prefer males to females when it comes to sexual encounters of any kind.  It's just in my wiring.  However, exposed male penises via webcam really don't exactly do it for me.  I mean, straight guys are turned on by boobs no matter what the circumstance, right? 

So my question is this: are there any ladies that ultimately get turned on by the sight of a penis?  Sure, it's not like I've encountered too many penises in my life, but I just don't seem to find myself particularly overjoyed by looking at one.  The male anatomy just isn't as aesthetically pleasing as the female's.  

The penis is just sort of there. Hanging.    

Now that there has been enough penis talk for a week, let me get back down to the gritty of Chatroulette.  

The whole concept of the site is to connect you with random strangers around the world with just the click of the button.  If one should encounter a creep or a flailing dong, simply click the "next" button and you'll be connected to the next random stranger.  

Beware though, another flaccid twig may appear and there is a high chance that several more are to come.  

About 30% of Chatroulette consists of older men playing with the family jewels.  Kudos to the first person who thought of the idea to expose his junk to the world. It might have been actually funny then.  But to all the others who have followed: you're just not that clever.  

On a side note though, if your little friend is 3 inches long, why, oh why, are you showing that embarrassment off to the world?  Now, 50% of the site's users are just older men who sit around without their shirts.  This leaves us with the other  40% that consist of some pervs and college boys.  Thus, we are left with the 10% that are females. It's a sad truth but, you can only really make it on Chatroulette if you're a decently attractive girl.  It's not that I ever not found myself attractive, but it's definitely a confidence booster when almost every guy you talk to tells you that your smile is adorable and that "it's nice to finally talk to a cute girl instead of a dick." 

Once you get past all the exposure, Chatroulette is honestly a brilliant concept.  For a fun fact, it was actually created by a seventeen-year-old from Russia.  I've encountered and talked to some pretty cool people through the site.  One moment I'm talking to a British bloke about Mumford & Sons and next I'm engaging in conversation with a group of school girls from Indiana.  

Recently, I talked up IYBH to a group of intelligent, yet drunk, college boys from Maryland.  They had transformed Chatroulette into a drinking game in which you took a drink every time you encountered a dick. 

A mighty fine game that is guaranteed to mess you up.  

I informed them I was writing a post and sent them here.  They were suprised that people actually kept blogs with regular postings.  

So far, my favorite encounter on Chatroulette was when two college-aged boys from Boulder serenaded me with a surprisingly awesome rendition of Soul Sister by Train.  It was two in the morning and they had been waiting all night for a girl to show up and listen to them.  Like I said previously, girls are the gems that are rarely seen.  

Men light up the moment they see one.  I almost feel like I could change lives via the site.  

There was one conversation that I had with a boy in the Army.  I thanked him for his service and he told me that I was the first person who he's encountered online that actually told him that.  One boy even told him I was the first person to actually sit and have a conversation with him.  Before, he was constantly being nexted.  

I even met a celebrity!  Well, maybe I did.  Does this look like Snoop Dogg to you?

 

Apparently this is Thomas Delonge of Angels and Airwaves.  I think he was a little disappointed that I didn't recognize him because he nexted me.  Truth is, I had no idea who the fuck he was and had use the mighty powers that be Google.  However, once I remembered the band, I also remembered that I kind of loathed their music....

 
How ironic that the girl named for destruction and despair is spreading happiness and joy to males all over the world. 

So, now that I've broken the ice, are you going to jump onto the wagon and explore Chatroulette?  I know I've found my latest site to procrastinate and wreak havoc.